Day 17: How to Have Conversations That Actually Matter
September Rentrée Series
🍂 Welcome to the September Rentrée! Every weekday this month, you'll get one bold, bite-sized piece to spark reflection, shift your habits, and help you design a life that feels good in real life. 1 month. 20 bold truths. A life-changing September. In France, la rentrée (the return) is a national event. It's about fresh routines, new ideas, and intentional renewal. And that's exactly the energy we're bringing here!
Be honest: how many of your daily conversations feel like small talk on repeat? “How are you?” “Busy”. “Same”.
Scroll, swipe, smile, repeat.
We are surrounded by communication, yet starved of connection.
Here is the truth: conversations that matter do not just happen by accident. They are created through presence, curiosity and courage. Three shifts can transform how we connect with others.
1. Presence over performance
Most of us listen to reply, not to understand.
Our brains are busy rehearsing the perfect answer or running through mental to-do lists.
Authentic communication starts with attention.
Research shows that deep listening reduces stress and builds trust.
Next time, try this: silence the urge to jump in. Let pauses hang. People reveal more when they feel truly heard.
2. Curiosity over assumptions
We often think we know what someone means before they have even finished speaking.
But assumptions kill authenticity. Instead, channel curiosity.
Ask “Can you tell me more?” or “What does that mean for you?”
Questions signal respect and reveal depths that surface-level chat never reaches.
3. Courage over comfort
Real conversations require vulnerability.
That might mean sharing an honest “I am struggling” instead of a polished “I am fine”
Or telling a colleague, “I value our partnership, but I need clearer boundaries”.
Courage invites reciprocity. When you show up as real, others often do too.
Brené Brown describes this as the paradox of vulnerability: it feels risky, yet it’s the gateway to intimacy and trust.
What seems like weakness actually becomes our greatest strength in building genuine connections.
4. Less quantity, more quality
We do not need more chats. We need better ones.
Instead of scattering your energy across endless WhatsApp messages or LinkedIn pings, focus on fewer, deeper exchanges.
Try swapping a quick text for a voice note or a coffee where phones stay in bags.
Why this matters
Authentic communication is not fluffy, it’s fuel.
Stronger relationships predict higher wellbeing, better work outcomes and even longer lifespans.
And in a world of shallow interactions, real connection is a radical act.
So here is your experiment this week: have one conversation where you ditch performance, lead with curiosity and risk a little honesty.
Because the words we choose can build bridges between us and the people who matter most.
With Love,
Noemie X
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