I Quit Drinking Two Years Ago… And Honestly? I’ve Never Been Happier!
The biggest lessons I’ve learned since I ditched drinking for good
Two years ago today, I had my last drink. YAY!
And honestly? It feels like a lifetime ago.
For years, alcohol had a such grip on me. I wasn’t someone who “just had a few and left it at that.” If I was out, I was out. Late nights, drinking in excess, never really knowing when to call it. The thing is, I’ve never been a shy or awkward person. I didn’t drink to loosen up or feel more comfortable in social settings. I have a lot of energy to begin with. I already have a big personality. I’m loud. I take space. Alcohol didn’t make me more social. It just cranked up the volume on everything I already was, often past the point of control. It took what was already big and made it too big. Louder. Messier. More impulsive. The kind of energy that might start the night as fun but often ended in chaos, regret, or a complete blackout. At a certain point, I had to ask myself, why am I still doing this? The answer was hard to face, but once I did, I couldn’t unsee it.
I tried moderation, didn’t work. I tried rules: only beer, only wine, water between drinks. None of it worked. Most morning afters, I’d wake up feeling like sh*t, physically wrecked and mentally consumed by shame. Why could I not be like (seemingly) everyone else and control my drinking?! Why Am I such a failure?
The blackouts were the worst. Not just because I lost chunks of time, but because of the gut-wrenching feeling the next morning. Trying to piece together conversations. Scanning my phone for clues. Wondering if I said something stupid or made a fool of myself. It wasn’t every time, but it was often enough that alcohol felt less like a fun indulgence and more like a constant battle.
And the worst part? I kept trying to make it work. I wasn’t ready to let it go.
Then, Christmas 2021, I picked up a book, Not Drinking Tonight by Amanda E. White , that honestly changed EVERYTHING for me.
Early in the book, she flips the usual question. Instead of asking, "Am I an alcoholic?" she asks something that is way more useful:
"Would my life be happier without alcohol?"
I didn’t need to sit with that question for very long. The answer was so glaringly obvious. YES!!
Yet, it didn’t mean I quit immediately. I still drank for a few months after that. But something had shifted.
And during those few months, the cognitive dissonance was REAL. On one hand, I wanted to drink. On the other, I knew alcohol was draining my happiness and that I would be happier without it. Eventually, on 18 March 2022, after a fun, St Patrick’s day night out, I just stopped. Not because of a bad experience. Not because I hit ‘rock bottom’. But because somehow, I was finally ready.
And I haven’t missed it once since. Like for real, I always feel a bit amazed at how easy this has been for me. My husband still drink, I’m regularly out with friends who drinks, I DJ so I host parties, I go clubbing. Yet, I do not miss it. Not even a little.
Here’s what I’ve learned from my experience, and hopefully these insights will help someone too.
Lesson 1: You have to actually want it
This sounds obvious, but it’s EVERYTHING.
For years, I did short breaks. Dry January. A few sober months here and there. But I never fully wanted to quit. I saw alcohol as something I should give up, not something I wanted to give up. Even the term giving up, suggest that your life will be “less than” before. So I always went back.
The difference in 2022? I wasn’t quitting because I felt awful after a night out. I wasn’t quitting because of guilt or regret. I was quitting because I genuinely wanted a different life. I wanted to wake up clear-headed every day. I wanted to stop giving alcohol so much space in my brain. I wanted more joy and energy. I wanted to feel proud of myself.
If you’re thinking about quitting, ask yourself. Do you actually want this, or do you just think you should?
If there’s still ambivalence, don’t ignore it. It’s ok. Work through it. Journal about it. Talk to a therapist. Explore what’s holding you back. If part of you still thinks alcohol is adding value to your life, be honest about that. You can’t force yourself to quit if deep down, you don’t really want to.
But when you do want it? When the reasons for quitting feel stronger than the reasons for drinking? That’s when it sticks.
Lesson 2: You won’t feel amazing right away (and that’s normal)
I spoke about this in a recent article on dopamine, but when I quit I expected to feel incredible right away.
Nope.
For months, everything felt… bland. Social situations felt dull. Even simple things like Friday nights or vacations felt a bit flat. When you remove a huge source of artificial dopamine like alcohol, your brain needs time to recalibrate. It took a solid few months before I started to genuinely feel good again.
So if you quit and don’t feel great right away? That’s normal. Your brain is adjusting.
Here’s what helped me.
Have a plan for the in-between phase. Expect some boredom. Some restlessness. Find things that genuinely bring you joy. Movement. Hobbies. Travel. Deep conversations. Fill the space alcohol leaves behind with things that actually add to your life.
Focus on what you’re gaining, not just what you’re losing. It’s easy to fixate on what you’re missing. The buzz. The ritual. The social ease. Instead, shift your focus. What’s improving? Maybe it’s better mornings. Real confidence. A sense of control over your own life. Keep track of the wins.
Trust the process. The benefits will come. The clarity. The confidence. The energy. They’re all on the other side of a bit of discomfort. I promise you.
Two years in, I can confidently say. It was 100% worth pushing through.
I have never felt better, in my body and in my head.
Lesson 3: You might need help (and that’s okay)
For a long time, I thought quitting alcohol was just about willpower. That if I wanted it enough, I’d just do it.
But willpower alone isn’t always enough. Alcohol is often tangled up in deeper stuff. Stress. Trauma. Anxiety. Boredom. If you don’t deal with the why behind your drinking, quitting can feel like a constant battle.
That’s why getting help is so important. I know from my own experience that seeking help can be challenging because personally I felt so much shame about not being able to control my drinking. But whether it’s a therapist, a sober coach, or a support group, having guidance can make all the difference.
I was in therapy for a few months when I quit, and I think it was a major help. I worked on truly loving myself, shifting my inner voice from criticism to compassion, and learning to trust myself again. I also did a lot of self-reflection, read books, set a lot of healthy boundaries and focused on rebuilding my relationship with myself in a way that felt empowering.
If you’re struggling, please don’t do it alone.
If reading is your thing, Not Drinking Tonight by Amanda E. White was a game-changer for me. She talks about self-compassion, boundaries, and how to shift your mindset around alcohol. Highly recommended!
And if you need someone to talk to, someone who’s been there, I mean this sincerely: Reach out to me. Email me at noemie@unwritten.coach. No judgement. No pressure. Just a real conversation with someone who gets it. I will connect, for free, with ANYONE who needs a bit of help.
Final Thoughts: Two Years Later
Looking back, I can’t believe how much has changed.
Alcohol used to take up so much space in my life. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Now? It’s just… gone. And in its place?
More confidence. More energy. More freedom.
No more waking up anxious at 4am, wondering what I said or did.
No more wasted Sundays in bed, feeling like sh*t.
No more mental gymnastics around how to drink “successfully.”
Just clarity. Just peace. Just real, unfiltered, joyful living. I’m so proud of myself!
If you’re questioning your relationship with alcohol, I’ll leave you with the question that changed everything for me:
Would your life be happier without alcohol?
If the answer is even maybe… explore that. You deserve to know.
And if you need someone in your corner, you know where to find me.
Cheers (with sparkling water),
Noemie