The problem isn't you, the problem is your system

Raise your hand if you've ever blamed yourself for not sticking to a new habit (me!)

If you’re like me, you bought the fancy planner, signed up for the gym membership, stocked the fridge with kale. And then… life happened, work happened, sh*t happened. Fast-forward a bit and the planner is dusty, the gym forgot what you look like, and that kale? Compost now.

The story you probably told yourself goes something like this: “I'm lazy. I don't have enough willpower. I just don't want it badly enough.”

But here's the thing: you're not failing. Your systems are.

Let me say that again: It's not you. It's your systems.

Most of us approach change by focusing on ourselves, our motivations, our willpower, or our perceived lack of it. What we rarely stop to consider is that behaviour is shaped far more by the systems we create (or fail to create) than by how determined we feel on any given day.

Your Environment is Quietly Running the Show

This isn't just feel-good fluff - it's backed by science. James Clear (Atomic Habits) puts it perfectly: your behaviour is a product of your environment. Think about it: when those biscuits are sitting right there on the kitchen counter, staring at you every time you walk by, are you really making a choice? Or is your environment making it for you? The biscuits are running the show.

Motivation is overrated (I’ll talk more about that in a later post), so instead of trying to become a willpower superhero, what if we just made the right things easier and the wrong things harder? It's not about motivation - it's about designing a system and environment that works for you instead of against you.

Example: If you want to read more, place a book on your pillow each morning. When you return to bed at night, you'll have to physically move it to avoid reading. Want to eat healthier? Reorganise your fridge so the first things you see are prepped vegetables and fruits, not leftover pizza. Sometimes, things don’t have to be that complicated.

The Power of Tiny Wins

"Emotions create habits, not time." – BJ Fogg, Tiny Habits

Feeling good about your progress, no matter how tiny, is what keeps you going. I can’t emphasise this enough: we change best when we feel good about ourselves, not when we’re consumed by self-doubt or self-loathing. This positive mindset boosts self-efficacy (your belief in your ability to succeed), and creates a virtuous cycle of positive habits and meaningful lifestyle changes.

The key is to start ridiculously small. And I mean ridiculously. Want to build a workout habit? Don’t begin with, “I’ll do an hour at the gym every day.” If you haven’t worked out in a while, that’s unrealistic and sets you up for failure, the opposite of self-efficacy. Instead, start with one push-up a day. Yes, just one. Too easy? That’s exactly the point.

Here’s what happens when you change your systems:

• Small wins build momentum. (That one push-up often turns into more naturally.)

• Your identity starts to shift. (From “I’m trying to be healthy” to “I’m someone who takes care of my body.”)

• Progress becomes automatic because your environment supports your success.

• Tiny wins aren’t just small steps, they’re the foundation for lasting change.

The Momentum Method

Let’s be real: motivation is about as dependable as Wi-Fi on a long-haul flight. It shows up when it feels like it and disappears the second things get hard. That's why the best systems don't rely on motivation, they rely on momentum.

James Clear calls this the two-minute rule: design habits so easy, they take less than two minutes to do. Want to write more? Open your laptop and write one sentence. Want to meditate? Close your eyes and take three deep breaths.

Identity-Based Habits

The science behind habit formation is absolutely fascinating. Every habit follows a loop: cue → routine → reward. When we understand this, we can design systems that make good habits almost inevitable.

Here's how to put this into practice:

Instead of saying "I want to eat healthier," become someone who nourishes their body mindfully. Set up your environment accordingly: Sunday meal prep becomes your weekly ritual, your kitchen counter becomes a no-processed-food zone, your phone's camera roll fills with photos of colourful, healthy meals you've created.

Design, Test, Iterate (Think like a Scientist)

You are the greatest project you’ll ever work on, and your habit system should be treated like a scientific experiment. When something doesn't work, it's not a failure. It's data.

If you’re trying to establish a morning workout routine and keep hitting snooze, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, analyse the system:

• Is your workout gear laid out the night before?

• Have you made it too complicated to start?

• Would a different time of day work better with your natural energy levels?

Your Next Steps

The problem isn’t that you’re lazy, undisciplined, or incapable of change. The problem is that you’ve been trying to change without a system that supports you.

Start with this: Pick one habit you want to build. Make it tiny. Make it obvious. Make it almost impossible to fail. Then, create one small change in your environment to support it.

Remember: The goal isn’t to transform your life overnight. It’s to build a system so reliable that success becomes your default setting.

What tiny system will you design today?

P.S. Need help getting started? In the comments below, share one habit you'd like to build, and let's workshop a simple system together.