The Problem with "Before & After" Culture
And why I'm opting out
Does anyone remember "Extreme Makeover"? That awful show in the early 2000s where people were essentially treated as "before" photos waiting to happen. Where transformation meant plastic surgery, grueling workout regimens, wardrobe overhauls, completely erasing who they were? The dramatic reveals, the tears, the implicit message that happiness was just a makeover (and tens of thousands of dollars) away?
If you don’t, you're lucky. This show was atrocious. No wonder millennials are carrying emotional baggage about our bodies!
We grew up watching people being told they weren't good enough until they were "fixed." And now, in the age of social media, we're still swimming in before-and-after posts, each one suggesting there's a better version of ourselves waiting on the other side of transformation.
I've lived this story. At my heaviest, I was over 20kg heavier than I am now. Like many others, I spent years obsessing over the number on the scale, bouncing between diets. (and I've tried them all: low carb, low fat, vegan, keto, that weird one with no carbs not coloured vegetables…)
But here's the thing about transformation photos that keeps bothering me: they tell a story that's too simple, too neat, too... before and after. As if life works in clear-cut chapters where you're either "before" (read: broken) or "after" (read: fixed).
Life isn't that tidy.
When I look at old photos of myself, I don't see a "before" that needs to be erased or hidden. I see someone who was whole and complete, even if she didn't always believe it at the time. Someone who laughed with friends, achieved tons of big goals, and lived life fully – regardless of her size. Why should I frame that version of myself as something to be somewhat embarrassed by, or worst, ashamed of?
Don't get me wrong – I understand the appeal of transformation photos. In the world of fitness trainers and health coaches, these dramatic visual stories serve a purpose. They're proof of concept, evidence that change is possible. And yes, these transformations are often incredible and absolutely worthy of celebration!
But here's what those side-by-side comparisons don't show:
The person who made sustainable, healthy changes but only lost 5kg
The one who gained strength and endurance but looks largely the same
The individual who completely transformed their relationship with food while their body stayed similar
The person who took a year instead of 12 weeks to reach their goals
We've created this expectation that meaningful change must be dramatic enough to warrant a stunning before-and-after reveal. But what about the subtle victories? The small wins that add up to profound internal transformations that no camera can capture?
Weight loss, for all its visible drama, isn't a magic wand that suddenly makes life perfect. Sure, I'm healthier now, and I feel better in my body. But the core of who I am – my worth, my values, my struggles and joys – those weren't waiting for me at a particular number on the scale.
This isn't about dismissing the hard work people put into their physical transformations. Rather, it's about expanding our definition of what transformation looks like. Sometimes it's visible (yay!), sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's quick, sometimes it's slow. Sometimes it's about the body, sometimes it's about something much deeper.
So no, you won't find before-and-after photos of my (or my clients’) journey here. Not because I'm not proud of the changes I’ve made, but because I refuse to imply that the "before" version of me was any less worthy of love and respect than who I am now.
Your transformation is valid, whether or not it makes for a dramatic photo comparison. Your progress matters, even if it doesn't fit neatly into a 12-week program timeline. And most importantly, you are worthy of celebration and love at every single point along the way – not just at the "after."
Because in reality, there is no "after." There's just the continuous journey of growing, learning, and taking care of ourselves – in whatever way that looks like for each of us. ❤️
With Love,
Noemie