Dry January? Try this NOW

The question that changed everything for me

Three years ago, I was the Queen of Bad Habits, and red wine was my biggest weakness.

LegalTech Programme Manager by day.
Party girl by night.

But when COVID hit and my already heavy drinking went through the roof, “fun” became something else entirely. Something really dark.

Sunday mornings became my personal hell.

I’d sit on the edge of my bed, head pounding, replaying fragments of the night before.

What did I say? How did I embarrass myself this time? The shame was suffocating.

“I’m NEVER drinking again!” I’d promise myself. By Friday, that promise was forgotten.

I felt completely out of control, trapped in a cycle I couldn’t break.

The question haunting me was always the same: “Am I an alcoholic?”

But that question led nowhere helpful. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t (so what?).

Then I picked up a book called “Not Drinking Tonight.” The opening line stopped me cold: “Would your life be happier without alcohol?”

Everything shifted.

Of course my life would be happier without alcohol!

The answer was so STUPIDLY obvious it hurt.

This wasn’t about labels or shame, this was about choice.

But knowing and doing are very different things.

I read that question in December. I didn’t quit until March.

I lived with the dissonance for 3 whole months.

I’d drink, then wake up thinking, “My life would be happier without this.” Some nights were fun with no drama. Some nights weren’t.

The cognitive dissonance was uncomfortable. I knew my life would be happier without alcohol, but I wasn’t ready to let it go yet. And that was okay. That discomfort was part of the process.

That time wasn’t wasted. It was essential.

I was observing my patterns. Noticing when I reached for a drink and why. Watching how alcohol showed up in my social life, my stress relief, my celebrations. I wasn’t trying to change anything yet, I was just paying attention.

I wasn’t someone who “just had a few and left it at that.” If I was out, I was out. Late nights, drinking in excess, never really knowing when to call it. I kept trying to make it work, trying different rules and strategies. But none of it stuck because deep down, I wasn’t ready.

Then one morning, after a perfectly pleasant night out, I looked at my husband and said, “I’m taking a break from drinking.”

Not “I want to quit”, but “I’m quitting.” The certainty in my voice surprised even me. I was finally ready because I’d done the internal work first.

The transformation didn’t happen when I quit drinking. It happened in those three months of quiet observation.

That’s the part that made quitting not just possible, but almost inevitable.

Important DISCLAIMER: If you’re drinking heavily every day or experience withdrawal symptoms when you don’t drink, please speak with a doctor before making changes! This advice is for people questioning their relationship with alcohol, not for managing physical dependence.

Why I’m telling you this in October

Dry January is 77 days away.

If you’ve been thinking about trying Dry January (or rethinking your relationship with alcohol altogether), now is the time to start preparing.

Not by forcing yourself or making grand declarations, but by beginning the quiet work of observation and reflection.

We love the fantasy of instant transformation. We want to wake up on 1 January as a completely different person who doesn’t even want a drink.

But real change doesn’t work that way. It’s not a light switch, it’s a dimmer that you adjust gradually until one day you realise everything looks different.

Those three months between reading that question and actually quitting? That was when the real change happened. The actual quitting was just the visible part.

So if you’re reading this and something is stirring (even if it’s just a vague sense of “maybe I should think about this”), you’re right on time.

Try this now

Between now and January, here’s what could actually help:

Start observing without judgement. Notice when you drink and when you don’t. What situations trigger the urge? What are you actually seeking? (Connection? Relaxation? A way to mark the end of the day? Permission to be silly?) Don’t try to change anything yet. Just watch with curiosity.

If during this observation period you notice you can’t go a day without drinking, or you experience shaking, sweating, or anxiety when you don’t drink, that’s important information to discuss with a healthcare provider.

Ask yourself the question. Not “Am I drinking too much?” or “Do I have a problem?” but “Would my life be happier without alcohol?” Sit with whatever answer comes up. If it’s “yes,” don’t panic. If it’s “maybe,” that’s information too. If it’s “no,” that’s okay (this newsletter might not be for you).

Even if the answer is yes, you might not be ready yet. That’s normal. The gap between knowing and being ready is where the real work happens.

Notice the gap between your actions and your values. Do you value being present with your kids but find yourself fuzzy-headed on Sunday mornings? Do you value authenticity but need drinks to feel comfortable at social events? Do you value health but ignore how alcohol makes you feel? Write these down. The discomfort of that gap is what eventually creates change.

Imagine your ideal relationship with alcohol. What would it look like? Occasional celebratory drinks? Specific situations only? None at all? There’s no right answer, only your answer. Let yourself explore this without committing to anything.

Pay attention to your “never again” moments. When do you promise yourself you’ll cut back or quit? What does that promise feel like? How long does it last? This pattern is data, not failure.

By the time January arrives, you won’t be starting from scratch. You’ll have 77 days of self-knowledge. You’ll understand your patterns, your triggers, your reasons. And that makes all the difference between a willpower battle that ends on 15 January and a genuine shift that might just stick.

But let me be honest about what that shift actually feels like, because the glossy “before and after” stories skip the messy middle bit.

What to expect (the bit nobody mentions)

If you do decide to take a break from alcohol, the early days won’t be magical. Your brain needs time to reset its dopamine levels, so everything feels a bit “meh” for a while. Weeks two and three are often the hardest, when the novelty has worn off but you haven’t yet felt the benefits. Be patient with the process.

But then? You start noticing things. Beauty in mundane moments. A quieter, kinder inner voice. More energy, better sleep, sharper thinking. You become more present, more patient, more yourself (but with better boundaries around protecting your energy).

And here’s something that might surprise you: once you get through that initial reset period, it might actually be easier than you think. Not everyone finds sobriety a constant struggle. Some people discover it feels like relief.

Now I feel spectacular. Not perfect, not fixed, just more aligned with who I actually want to be.

Most importantly, I learned that even when you feel powerless, there’s always a way forward. You’re the author of your own story, and you can write the next chapter at any point.

The right question changes everything. And you deserve better than accepting feeling stuck.

So here’s my question for you: Would your life be happier without alcohol?

You’ve got 77 days to sit with that. Don’t rush the answer. Just notice what comes up when you ask it.

The transformation might already be beginning.

Noemie x

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