Ever felt like youâre failing at life just because your morning didnât start with a 5am ice bath and a green smoothie?
Yeah, same.
Some days youâre in the flow. Other days youâre eating cereal for dinner in yesterdayâs gym kit, wondering what day it is. And both are normal. But in the age of hustle-glam wellness culture, itâs easy to forget that.
This episode is your reminder that wellbeing isnât supposed to feel like punishment. Itâs not about being âdisciplined enoughâ or checking off 20 boxes before 9am. If youâve been trying to change your habits through guilt, grind, or sheer forceâthis oneâs for you.
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What this episode is really about
Weâre diving deep into the real reason most of us struggle to build healthy habits that lastâand spoiler: itâs not because youâre lazy or lack willpower. I break down why the âno excusesâ approach is actually making things harder, not better, and how science (and a whole lot of self-compassion) can help you create change that sticks.
I share personal stories (including a very glam cereal-for-dinner moment), lessons from Shahroo Izadiâs The Kindness Method, and three research-backed strategies to help you get out of the all-or-nothing mindset and back into something sustainable, kind, and real. Because the truth is: you cannot hate yourself into better habits.
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Key Takeaways
đĄ Youâre not lazy, youâre just tired
And youâre living in a world that glamorises grind. Itâs time to ditch the shame and redefine what real wellbeing looks like.
đ§ Stress blocks growth, safety unlocks it
When you pressure yourself to change, your brain panics. When you offer compassion, it learns. This isnât fluffâitâs neuroscience.
đŁ Name it with kindness
Instead of spiralling into shame, pause and acknowledge what youâre feeling. Itâs a simple, powerful nervous system reset.
đ Reframe the âwhyâ behind your habits
Every habit you have is trying to meet a need. Find the need, meet it differently, and change gets a whole lot easier.
đ§© Start ridiculously small
You donât need a 90-minute routine. One mindful breath counts. One glass of water counts. Tiny is powerfulâespecially when youâre tired.
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Pep Talk
You donât need to be perfect to make progress. You donât need to be âbuilt differentâ to feel better. What you do need? A bit more compassion, a lot less pressure, and a toolkit that actually fits your life. Start small. Stay kind. Youâve got this.
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Resources Mentioned
The Kindness Method by Shahroo Izadi
Free Habit Reset Starter Kit â www.unwritten.coach/habitresetkit
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